I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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