i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
