ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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