I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
