I accidentally had phone sex last night
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
