She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
