She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
