I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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