ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You pole danced in your parka.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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