All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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