this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
