I'm drive I can fine osifer
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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