i think my mom watched the whole time
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
