the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
