omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize