Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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