Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Randomize
