She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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