how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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