READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
