I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
