I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
