can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
