We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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