I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Randomize
