GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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