How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I did not marry a roomba.
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