I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
