if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
