Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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