You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
