Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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