you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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