i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize