Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
