well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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