I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I need water and some morals
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
