It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
