For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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