He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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