he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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