When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
