I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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