I love black thongs
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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