we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
