There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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