you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize