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Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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