Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
