Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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