Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
