I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
