whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
