Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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