i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
