so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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