omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
