my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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