I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
