why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I'm having to shit out rocks
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
