so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
