Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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