no, he came in my armpit
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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