Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
